EFT Couples therapy with an experienced marriage counselor in Amsterdam

Sometimes you are so stuck in negative patterns that you can’t work it out together anymore. Then couples therapy can help. An experienced relationship psychologist gives you new insights and aligns your communication and feelings again. We mainly work with the EFT method. This is a very successful way to guide you through a difficult time in your relationship.

Relationship problems?

Every couple sometimes experiences conflicts or a difficult period. Relationship problems don’t need to be a problem, if they’re temporary and can be solved. However, if you have continuous quarrels or problems with communication in your relationship, then there may also arise problems in other areas in your life.

You may feel very depressed or sad when you have relationship problems

You think a lot about the problems and are maybe unsure whether you should break the relationship or not. Perhaps you’ve got feelings for another man or woman or your partner is cheating. You’re almost constantly arguing about minor and major issues or feel that you both lead your own life.

It’s not too late! Couples therapy can be helpful

When having relationship problems, many couples only seek help when their relationship is almost beyond saving. They apply for couples therapy as a last resort. Sometimes this can be helpful, but in other cases it’s already too late. For this reason it’s important to also search for help with minor issues, so you can make sure it doesn’t have to get this far.

The basic idea is that you’re stuck in conflicts (or are just being apart from each other), because you both react in the same negative way again and again. This touches your fundamental feeling of solidarity and safety and it goes from bad to worse.

Relationship counseling. For you both

It may state the obvious, but its true. Just like with every other therapy you must do the work. And you both have to want it. Both!
During the therapy one of you (or you both) can come to the conclusion that there’s no future for you together anymore. As your therapist we can help you to end your relationship in a respectful way. It’s important to end your relationship with care and attention, especially when there are kids involved.

Treatment – couples therapy

First we start with looking at you as an individual and in relation to each other. You probably have your blinkers on for each other and you don’t ‘see’ your partner. Maybe one of you has a totally different problem, which was kept unspoken – a depression for example, a burnout or an unresolved trauma.

We mainly work with the EFT- method (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy). This is a successful method to guide you through a difficult period in your relationship.

Why is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy so effective?

During traditional relationship counseling the focus lies on the interaction between the partners and on learning to communicate in a better way using respectful rules. In EFT love is central. Bad communication with your partner is often not the core problem, but only a symptom. EFT focuses on the essence of your relationship.

Almost always the essence seems: wanting to be connected to your partner, wanting to be involved with each other. When you’re in a fight, you learn how to work this out in an effective way within the traditional couples therapy. With EFT you can find out that it is often a cry for help to get in contact with the other partner. Because we quickly go to the essence of your relationship, EFT is an efficient and effective way of couple therapy.

You go through three phases:

1. Breaking patterns
We make sure it doesn’t escalate anymore. We search for the negative patterns, which maintain the relationship problems. Together we work on breaking these patterns and on the change of your behavior.

2. Explore yourself and your partner
We give deepening. Now you can get back in conversation, you can also be vulnerable and rediscover yourself and each other. This gives a new and emotional connection within the relationship, which provides security and changes the relationship in a positive way.

3. Make plans and come together
You find new solutions for old problems. We practice with new ways of connection. This way the couple therapy has a lasting effect on the quality of the relationship.

The actual purpose of the therapy is that you see, feel, phrase and dare to speak your own and each others needs and desires (again). This creates a (new) connection, which revives the relationship.

EFT has been scientifically tested several times and has become an internationally recognized form of therapy. Results of research:

  • EFT has a strong positive effect on solidarity in a relationship
  • The results show that there is little relapse after EFT therapy
  • EFT is effective for couples in all layers of the population. Also when having psychological or physical symptoms.
  • EFT works better than other couple therapies.

Do you recognize your problems and do you feel the need for help or do just have a question about a treatment for your relationship problems? Just call us for an appointment or send an e-mail to our practice Pycholoog Amsterdam.

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Onze psychologen geven ook online therapie & coaching

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