Do your conversations increasingly end in arguments? Does it seem like you do not understand each other and you each lead your own life? Why does your partner react so furious when you think there is nothing wrong? Where has your loving relationship gone? Do you recognize these questions and do you want to do something about it?
Every couple sometimes experiences conflicts or a difficult period, but sometimes you are so stuck in negative patterns that you can’t work it out together anymore. Relationship therapy can help you solve the problems that have arisen (also in other areas of your life).
It is not too late!
When having relationship problems, many couples only seek help when their relationship is almost beyond saving. They apply for relationship therapy as a last resort. Sometimes this can be helpful, but in other cases it is already too late. For this reason it is important also to search for help with minor issues, so you can make sure you can avoid this.
The basic idea is that you are stuck in conflicts (or are just being apart from each other), because you both react in the same negative way again and again. This touches your fundamental feeling of connection and safety and it goes from bad to worse.
Relationship therapy, you both must want it!
It may be clear, but it is true. Just like with every other therapy yóu must do the work. You must want it, both of you! During the therapy one of you (or both of you) can come to the conclusion that there is no future for you together anymore. As your therapist we can help you to end your relationship in a respectful way. It is important to end your relationship with care and attention, especially when there are kids involved.
Relationship therapy: EFT or system therapy
At first we start with looking at you as an individual and in relation to each other. You probably already have blinders on and you do not ‘see’ your partner. Perhaps one of you has a totally different problem which was kept unspoken – a depression for example, a burnout or an unresolved trauma.
We mainly work with EFT (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy) and system therapy (family therapy), or a combination of both therapies. These are very successful therapies to guide you through the difficult period in your relationship.
Why is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy so effective?
During traditional relationship counseling the focus lies on the interaction between the partners and on learning to communicate in a better way using respectful rules. In EFT love is central. Bad communication with your partner is often not the core problem, but only a symptom. EFT focuses on the essence of your relationship.
Almost always the essence seems: wanting to be connected to your partner, wanting to be involved with each other. When you are in a fight, you learn how to work this out in an effective way within the traditional relationship therapy. With EFT you can find out that it is often a cry for help to get in contact with the other partner. Because we quickly go to the essence of your relationship, EFT is an efficient and effective way of couple therapy.
Why is system therapy so effective?
In system therapy we investigate how your problems are related to your environment, the ‘system’ in which the problems occur. The environment can be a family, but also the working environment, the school, the social or cultural environment in which you live. In turn, problems also affect you as a couple or family.
System therapy is aimed at clarifying patterns in the interaction, and where possible, getting back on track again. In addition to the problems, attention is paid to the positive, powerful sides of the relationship or the family.
Contact Psychologen Amsterdam
Do you need help or do you just have a question about the treatment of your relationship problems? Then call for an appointment or send a message to practice Psychologen Amsterdam.