About insecurity and low self-esteem
You have a certain opinion of the people around you. You may find someone kind, helpful, friendly or smart, while you may see someone else as clumsy or dishonest. In addition to your opinion of others, you also have an opinion of yourself. This is called your self-esteem.
What is a low self-esteem?
Everyone feels insecure sometimes. You may wonder whether you look good, whether you passed an exam or whether your presentation was interesting enough. That is normal and usually nothing to worry about. But when insecurity starts to control your life and behavior, and negative thoughts affect your confidence and self-esteem, there may be a problem with low self-esteem.
When you have low self-esteem, you often see yourself, the world and your future more negatively and critically than they really are. When you face a challenge, you may doubt whether you will succeed and may start to avoid it. People with low self-esteem often find it difficult to name positive qualities and focus mainly on negative thoughts such as “I am uninteresting”, “I cannot do anything” or “I am a failure”. This can make you feel anxious, sad or depressed.
Low self-esteem may relate to your inner qualities, your appearance, your abilities or your value as a person as a whole.
What is a healthy self-esteem?
People with low self-esteem often think they cannot do anything, do not believe in themselves and keep putting themselves down. On the other hand, people with an exaggeratedly positive self-image may always think they are the most attractive, smartest or best. A healthy self-esteem lies between these two extremes.
With a healthy self-esteem, you have a realistic view of yourself. You accept yourself with both your strengths and your weaker sides. You have enough confidence in yourself and you are able to form healthy relationships more easily. You tend to think more positively about yourself and more optimistically about life in general.
People with healthy self-esteem know that they are valuable and are able to name positive qualities, such as being loyal, honest or caring.
Causes of low self-esteem
Low self-esteem can develop early in childhood. Within the family there may have been too little appreciation or too much criticism, disapproval or punishment. Negative experiences at school, such as being bullied, hurt or ignored, can also damage your self-esteem.
The image presented in social media can also play a role. Everyone seems beautiful, slim, successful and perfectly happy. This can create the impression that you are less attractive, less interesting or less successful than others. However, there is not always one clear cause for low self-esteem.
Symptoms of low self-esteem
You may recognize low self-esteem through the following signs:
- You constantly criticize yourself.
- You have little confidence in yourself or in your future.
- You are not proud of yourself and keep putting yourself down.
- If something goes well, you minimize your success.
- You are very sensitive to criticism and may even interpret neutral remarks as criticism.
- You constantly compare yourself with others.
Social media often shows idealized success stories rather than realistic lives. This can make you feel as if others are happier, more successful or have it better than you.
Consequences of low self-esteem
Low self-esteem often affects your behavior. Some people become very modest and withdrawn, do not stand up for themselves and avoid new experiences. Others overcompensate by acting more confident than they really feel.
Low self-esteem can also influence important choices, such as study or career. If you wrongly believe that you are less capable than others, you may choose a direction that is below your level.
Because of constant comparison with others, you may also set the bar too high for yourself. This can increase performance anxiety. You may avoid challenges out of fear of failure, or your performance may be negatively affected by tension and uncertainty.
Low self-esteem can interfere with daily life and may also lead to other psychological or physical complaints, such as gloom, anxiety, eating problems, excessive worrying, stomach aches, headaches or muscle pain.
Treatment of insecurity and low self-esteem
During treatment, we discuss how low self-esteem affects your daily life and what you would like to change. The goal is to break the negative cycle and reduce the number of negative thoughts you have about yourself.
We also look at your positive qualities and help you gain better insight into what is already going well. In this way, your self-confidence and self-esteem can gradually grow.
Please read our Insecurity and low self-esteem treatment page if you would like to know how we can help you.
Contact Psychologen Amsterdam
Do you recognize your symptoms and do you need help, or do you have a question about the treatment of insecurity and low self-esteem? Then call for an appointment or send a message to Psychologen Amsterdam.
